It was 20 years ago this year. My sister, Lisa, was living in Connecticut with her boyfriend, Bill. He had been diagnosed with leukemia a few years earlier and had three marrow transplants that were unsuccessful. Bill passed in March at Sloan Ketterling Hospital in New York City. Lisa tried to live in CT by herself, but the bills were greater than her income. It broke her heart to leave Bill in CT, but she finally decided she needed to return closer to family and find employment that paid her livable wages.
My brother Tim and I drove to CT that spring - it seems to me it was around July 4, but I could be wrong. Tim had a Ford Ranger truck. It was great fun to drive. This was the first time since our older brother Scott had passed away that the three of us had time and the opportunity to talk about "that time" ten years earlier. Our family wasn't very good at having the conversations that need to be had. Denial tended to work better from our perspective. However, when Tim and I had the time in the truck, conversation didn't stop! It was wonderful!
We arrived at Lisa's after driving without stopping from Madison, WI to Waterbury, CT. What I remember most about this first visit to their place was this hand held game that had Tetris on it. I played it for hours after everyone else when to bed. I should have been tired but I couldn't stop. My thumbs were so sore the next day.
We spent the next day getting things packed up for Lisa, visiting friends of her's and Bill's, and visiting Bill's family. Lisa and Bill were loved by so many people. It seems like we packed and drove out the next day, having a bit of pizza and pop before leaving at 10:30 am. Tim drove the U-Haul with Lisa's red Mazda 323 towed behind it. Lisa and I drove the Ford Pick-up. Off we went - thinking we would drive all night and stop for breakfast in East Lansing, MI at our Aunt's house. Somewhere in Ohio, about 8:30 am, I started not feeling so good. I had Pepsi and Twizzlers all night to stay awake and now I felt like I might throw up or explode....jittery and a bit anxious. Sugar and caffeine is a deadly combination.
So Lisa kicked me out of the truck and told me to find someplace that was still serving breakfast. So, there I was on a street in an unknown town, clutching the map, and panicking that I might not find food....NOW!! Lisa and Time were parking the trucks but hadn't found me yet. The City Police did find me and were very eager to "help me" find what I was looking for - food and a bit of rest. I wonder what they thought about me?
We have a delicious, hearty breakfast (no coffee) and get back on the road. Now, remember I am in charge of map reading and directions. Tim follows Lisa and I as we navigate ourselves back to the freeway. I'm struggling to read the map and make sense of how to determine if an intersection would have an entrance onto the freeway or not. We did a mile and a half square THREE times before Tim flashed his lights to tell us to pull over this was before cell phones). I thought he was going to get mad at us...me...but he rolled out of the U-Haul and said, "Is that the same school that we have gone by three times?" "Yes" was my quiet response. "I'm sorry Tim, I'm tired and my brain won't work." He starts giggling and giggling and there Lisa started and soon we were all rolling in the bed of the Ford laughing and looking like we might need hospitalization. We let the giggles out and started talking about the rest of the trip. We decided talking the detour to Michigan was going to take too much time and we were really enjoying the time alone (we would rotate who drive alone) and what were finally had time to talk about - our brother Scott. So after bit of a rest, we returned to driving and talking and getting Lisa home.
It was a quick trip with my little brother and sister. It was a joy because we hadn't had this kind of time together for many, many years. It was good because we needed to talk about Scott. We needed to stop being quiet about Scott. We all missed him terribly and we needed to fill in the gaps of each other's memories. I loved the trip even though I despise driving. The company and conversation got me through the trip I'll never forget.
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| Tim, Molly (pet dog), and Emily (favorite daughter). |
We arrived at Lisa's after driving without stopping from Madison, WI to Waterbury, CT. What I remember most about this first visit to their place was this hand held game that had Tetris on it. I played it for hours after everyone else when to bed. I should have been tired but I couldn't stop. My thumbs were so sore the next day.
We spent the next day getting things packed up for Lisa, visiting friends of her's and Bill's, and visiting Bill's family. Lisa and Bill were loved by so many people. It seems like we packed and drove out the next day, having a bit of pizza and pop before leaving at 10:30 am. Tim drove the U-Haul with Lisa's red Mazda 323 towed behind it. Lisa and I drove the Ford Pick-up. Off we went - thinking we would drive all night and stop for breakfast in East Lansing, MI at our Aunt's house. Somewhere in Ohio, about 8:30 am, I started not feeling so good. I had Pepsi and Twizzlers all night to stay awake and now I felt like I might throw up or explode....jittery and a bit anxious. Sugar and caffeine is a deadly combination.
So Lisa kicked me out of the truck and told me to find someplace that was still serving breakfast. So, there I was on a street in an unknown town, clutching the map, and panicking that I might not find food....NOW!! Lisa and Time were parking the trucks but hadn't found me yet. The City Police did find me and were very eager to "help me" find what I was looking for - food and a bit of rest. I wonder what they thought about me?
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| Jim and Lisa Jorgensen (my sister!) |
We have a delicious, hearty breakfast (no coffee) and get back on the road. Now, remember I am in charge of map reading and directions. Tim follows Lisa and I as we navigate ourselves back to the freeway. I'm struggling to read the map and make sense of how to determine if an intersection would have an entrance onto the freeway or not. We did a mile and a half square THREE times before Tim flashed his lights to tell us to pull over this was before cell phones). I thought he was going to get mad at us...me...but he rolled out of the U-Haul and said, "Is that the same school that we have gone by three times?" "Yes" was my quiet response. "I'm sorry Tim, I'm tired and my brain won't work." He starts giggling and giggling and there Lisa started and soon we were all rolling in the bed of the Ford laughing and looking like we might need hospitalization. We let the giggles out and started talking about the rest of the trip. We decided talking the detour to Michigan was going to take too much time and we were really enjoying the time alone (we would rotate who drive alone) and what were finally had time to talk about - our brother Scott. So after bit of a rest, we returned to driving and talking and getting Lisa home.
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| Penny and Dan Rice Not to self: Get a picture of your brother, sister. and you. |
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