Trying to Figure It Out

I was really sick recently (double ear infections and strep throat) and between naps I started watching the television series "Lost." I am completely hooked and love that I can watch the entire series on Netflix (without commercials) anytime I have time and want to "check-out."

Now I'm trying to figure out what I'm so intrigued by the show. I like mysteries - the show has depths of mystery - maybe that is it. I love thrillers - and the show at times is extremely thrilling and unexpected and keeps you on the edge of your seat trying to figure out why something has happened or what is going to happen next. The show has a number of roles for strong, intelligent women - although their bodies continue to be presented to please the male gaze. The men continue to attempt perpetuate patriarchy - although some of the women make this most difficult for them. I like this. I like what it presents to the generations of women and men watching this type of show - rather than The Brady Bunch or Laugh In during formative years. I like that there is a possibility of creating a new social system - or is the system created and the plane crash survivors have been invited to join it? It is all very curious. It is all so far from my daily live that it takes me away for a short visit to another place. I really like this.

I'm about half way through the entire show. It gets more complex each episode. I love this.

http://www.imdb.com/media/rm3503854848/tt0411008

I think everyone is feeling it

I am talking about how the forced installation of fear and terror in our daily lives is taking a toll on everyone. I am talking about how the polarized two party system (or is it really two parties?) continues to create havoc for everyone except the "haves." I am talking about recent college students who can't find a job that pays an affordable living wage, with benefits, and a balance between their personal versus professional life. I am talking about the national debt, the wars/invasions, the economic climate, the consequences of like minded people leading for too long.

A colleague and I were talking about "it" several years ago and decided to create a group of folks that could gather to disperse some of our angst, frustration, and ideally find something to be hopeful about. We gathered and it really did help. We vented and grumbled and then we started to laugh and feel a sense of community - community with common goals and values. It was a good time.

I've crossed paths with colleagues who feel the same angst, frustration, fear, and urgency to "do" something - but maybe a bit uncertain what that might be. So, I gathered the group again - many had already left the university, but there were several new members. I think I enjoyed the age range most of all - 26 to 52 years. We talked, we vented, we tried very hard to identify things that make us smile, happy, or are more optimistic. We really struggled to identify these things.

And then one of my colleagues mentioned a student's name, Ahna K., and said, "She gives me hope." And we all agreed that Ahna  and her philosophical, political, social, environmental, and economic outlook is hopeful, optimistic, and the future of the globe. I think it was also important for those above 35 years of age to highlight the possibilities for the future. It is our responsibility to encourage, role model, mentor, and support the next generation as they negotiate their place in and responsibility to our world. We did this. We told stories of our first activist activity and provided examples of tiny steps leading to bigger systemic change.

It was a good night. We will get together again soon. I think we should continue to invite a range of ages to increase hope and empower people.  

What's the longest you've been without sleep? #postaday2011

Four days. The exact dates were February 1, 2, 3 and 4, 2007.

On February 1 at 7:30 pm two Army Officers (one a chaplain and one a Casualty Assistance Officer knocked on our door. I was home alone at the time. When I opened the door they asked for Michael Mettille (the father of my children and my son's - M. Scott - name). Mike was on active duty stationed on Iraq. When I clarified that they needed to talk to my son, I slammed the door in their face. I knew what they were about to tell me. I knew that my children's lives were about to change forever. They waited and I opened the door and invited them in. They asked to speak with Michael Scott and Elizabeth Anne Mettille (my daughter). Both were living in Ames at the time, Liza and I had just hung up the phone before the knock on the door. As they explained who they were and why they needed to talk with my children, I couldn't stand. I couldn't think. I couldn't process any other information other than that Mike had lost his life while serving his country.

The rest of this story is not mine to tell. My children's lives changed in that moment - Liza was 21 and Scott 18. Mike was 44, a proud soldier and Father.

What can't you say no to? #postaday2011

And the word "challenge" to just about anything and I struggle to say no to it. For example, I was invited by a friend to take part in a "21 day meditation challenge" - 21 days is generally what it takes to break or start a habit - and I took that challenge and completed it well! And then I just as quickly stopped meditating. I missed the lesson learned in the process because I was focused on "the challenge." Another example is the "Post-A-Day" Challenge from Word Press. I am hopeful that I will continue with this even after the prompts cease. I might challenge myself to do so. I am also struggle when someone says, "I dare you" and "I double dare you." I'm not sure what all that is about. Now that I have shared this information, please use caution when challenging and daring me. I'll do my best to do what is best for me!